The Prohibition of Pineapple on Pizza — a Legal Analysis
A bit of fun from my time studying international law…
The Prohibition of Pineapple on Pizza (PPoP) is jus cogens, a international legal norm from which no derogation is allowed. It is considered a barbaric practice that violates the very essence of morality, humanity, culinary dignity of all Peoples and good taste.
The State of Italy has also unilaterally announced that putting pineapple on pizza under any circumstances is tantamount to an Act of War under International Law. This understanding has gained acceptance following the International Law Commission’s (ILC) Draft Articles on Properly Preparing a Pizza (1996). It is generally held that Italy’s right to Self-Defence under art. 51 of the United Nations Charter (UNC) is automatically activated in case of pineapple being placed on pizza. This norm has been partially codified in the United Nation’s Convention on the Law of Pineapple (UNCLoP), see art. 23(4)(b).
The International Court of Justice (ICJ) and The Intergalactic Tribunal on Internationally Wrongful Acts Related to Pizza and Good Eats in General (ITIWARPaGEiG) have upheld the PPoP through its Piña Colada Principle (PCP) and the Fruit Salad Doctrine (FSD). Notable cases include the Dominos-Papa John’s Case (Italy v. USA, 1981) and the Pineapple Disaster Case (Japan v. Peru, 2004). In the latter, the ICJ stated:
“The placement of pineapple on pizza remains one of the most heinous culinary acts a state or individual can engage in. WTF, guys?? Double-U, Tee, Eff?!”
